Restoration Me

 We don’t always know people’s stories.  

Especially when it comes to their bodies, how they feel about them and their relationship with it.

For many years I have written about body image, even created projects based on the power and beauty of our bodies.  I have built a community of building up women, it is one of my favourite things in the world.

We  know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. How our bodies morph over time, how they can change with the seasons of our lives.

Our bodies won’t always look the same. 

As we are gifted the years to age, the lives we create and the illness and diseases our bodies battle- our bodies have stories, only we are privy to.

People only see what they want to see. People see what other people say is true. Other people only see the flaws. Some people despite it all see the beauty that is them.

Others might see the lines, scars and lumps. The love handles the extra layers around our faces. The bit of wobble up on the legs and the grey hairs.

Women are overlooked, overwhelmed and over it when it comes to others, believing it is their right to comment on our bodies. To hold an opinion, create their own stories.

We wage war on our bodies at the hate that drips from other lips. We turn the volume up on judgement, assumptions, and criticisms.

I recently had a few moments where I looked back on photos and thought what the hell has happened. Usually, I go into a bit of spiral, blaming myself, lack of commitment, I am lazy, I don’t have self-respect. And so, the self-bashing goes.

In one instant someone said “wow you look so hot in that photo”.

The heart sinks.

Does that mean I don’t look good now? My body is just different. Does that mean its worth has demolished?

Why do we assume beauty is less than you are?

The response was, “no I don’t mean that, its just you were really active at the time”.

Well, I am active now, it’s a different type of active.

Author Jeff Brown once penned that: “The most significant relationships are the ones that bring us restoration. Restoration of Hope, our aliveness, our missing pieces. When we encounter them, we feel ourselves return to wholeness. These are the relationships we need.”

I believe we have the duty to play a part in our own restoration.  I still have hope that I can get back to fitness, take time for me to feel alive again and not look for missing pieces in others’ opinions of me.

Restoration of oneself is self-care and if I am honest it is something I am not good at. What I know I am good at, is starting over, reminding myself, that I can love my body right now, while trying to make it stronger, despite, the commentary its has endured for more than 20 years.

Choose the people around you, who want to restore you, help build you up, help you love the skin you are in.

Restoration is the act of returning something to its former owner, place or condition.

We are the owners of our bodies, it is our choice, want and need to look after it as we see fit.

Our bodies are our place of comfort, pleasure and happiness, a place where we find pain, hurt sadness. But it is our place, we are allowed to bloom, just as we are now. We are also allowed to feel better and be a work in progress.

Our bodies don’t live by conditions, conditions based on your or others negative beliefs. That silences us. Our bodies need unconditional love. And it is okay to demand that.

How will you restore this week? Mine is heading back into exercise since January.  Time to reconnect with me and remind myself I am the builder of my own restoration.

Big Love Fallon xoxo