When in doubt.....

DOUBT is one of the most unsettling feelings you can have.  

It sits in the pit of your stomach.  

Doubt feels like you have swallowed your heart, it is uncomfortable, and the beat is out of sync.  

For me doubt decides to crash into my life, when I feel as if I have been successful or had a win.  

I think it has a lot to do with feeling like an imposter, waiting to be told my shortcomings. Doubt has the power at times to remind me that I am not enough, it is the catalyst for my anxiety.   

They say doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. That is true, but I feel that doubt creeps in after I have achieved something I am proud of. I am not afraid to fail while I am creating a project, I can adapt to roadblocks on the way.  

But doubt after the fact is what can be suffocating. Sometimes I think doubt goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser who no matter how many pep talks we give ourselves we still worry what people think of us and if we have let someone down or made them unhappy.

Why is it that we take for gospel what other people think of you, your abilities, projects and contribution.  

How do we feel content knowing in our hearts that we did the best job we could do, without taking on board other people’s opinions?  

That is the trick I am still trying to learn, because I find it so hard to erase doubt. Perhaps doubt is the driver to keep us evolving and to be better. And maybe that is what I tell myself to move forward. 

But doubt can make us feel so unsettled, it makes us question everything we have done, whether it is warranted or not. 

Doubt can make us feel like we have to justify our choices and decisions.  

We can feel like fools, when doubt takes over, laughing in our smug faces, when we feel happy with a job well done.  

While doubt is a feeling we have one of the cruel parts about it is, the seed of doubt can be planted by others. It can be hard to silence the voice in our heads that says: ‘you can’t, you are rubbish, you are not enough.’ 

But through the fog of terrible thoughts and even worse words that grow like weeds, doubt can evaporate when you realise that you are capable. Because it is where passion and determination meet that you realise your potential.  

And it is your potential, that always shows up, even when doubt is lurking. We must hold onto that strength, because it is there to remind us that with doubt, comes bigger dreams and successes.

And that is where we win, when we take doubt and use it to do good in the world, to keep on creating, to feel the fear and do it anyway.  

You may always feel doubt, but you don’t have to listen to it, no matter what guise it is dressed as.  

Big Love,  

Fallon